Let’s Talk Phobias!

 If you’ve never had a phobia, consider yourself lucky. Phobias are extreme or irrational fears of something specific.

Some are common to many people such as heights, flying, spiders, snakes etc.Some phobias can be rare or very strange such as a phobia of clowns, using public toilets or dust (yes, dust). How are phobias created? How does a person, suddenly, have an irrational fear of something as simple as dust?

In order to understand phobias, we have to first recognize the difference between the conscious mind and the subconscious mind. We live, from day to day, in our conscious minds. This is what we focus on and what we see happening around us – usually in a very small outlook. You could consider everything else outside of that view as the subconscious mind – it’s the big picture. Discomfort in the subconscious is like a mosquito biting you or the sometimes annoying humming of a fan.  You don’t see either of those things, but they still have a huge effect on how you’re feeling.

Discomfort in the subconscious causes phobias to surface and create havoc on our emotions. Make no mistake – people who have phobias do not have a choice about them. If they see or experience whatever it is they’re “freaked-out” about it is almost always going to happen, and sometimes it gets very ugly and uncomfortable, usually in the form of screaming, fainting, crying, running away, or some other embarrassing behaviour.

What happens right before and during a phobic attack? Most likely, it’s normal conscious thinking, such as, “Oh, look, we’re driving over a really tall bridge. I could possibly fall, but it’s very unlikely that I will….” and then SMACK! The subconscious mind puts 2 and 2 together, and all the terrible, fearful emotions come exploding to the surface like a volcanic eruption. Most often this reaction is uncontrollable and automatic such as breathing or blinking and can take several minutes to bring back under control again.

What does it mean that the subconscious puts 2 and 2 together? In this case, it means that there is something going on in the subconscious that equates “heights” with “pain”. This is from some emotional events in the past, whether you are conscious of it or not, and anytime you experience something that reminds you of that negative event- SMACK!- you have a phobic reaction. Notice that I don’t say “heights” equating to “fear“. I say ”pain” because an emotional event has created some kind of pain, but it’s not necessarily fear related. This can be emotional pain or just imbalance in the energy body. Here’s an example of how a phobia can be created, from my own personal experience:

(Warning- this is kind of scary if you don’t like snakes!) I clearly remember this day. I was probably about 4, wandering around at my aunties’ farm, just enjoy playing and discovering what nature had to offer, when all of a sudden, I came across a MASSIVE snake.  Now this is where it gets really gross and scary – the snake was eating a field mouse it had caught. The mouse was half in and half out of the snake’s mouth and squeaking loudly – or I thought it was loud!  Now we may have seen snakes in real life or on documentaries and I was never really afraid of snakes before, in fact, most animals simply fascinated me. I was not afraid of what I saw, in any way, shape or form – I just remember staring at it and thinking “Whoa!” And that was it – I don’t consciously remember any emotional feelings whatsoever.

For probably 30 years, I didn’t see another snake. Then I went on a holiday to India, where there are many snake charmers on most street corners.  I was there with my husband and we were taking a stoll around one of the many “fort” complexes in Jaipur and then SMACK! I saw a snake charmer with 5 cobras swaying about right there in front of me, and I totally lost it. I remember starting to hyperventilate and shaking and crying right there on the spot. This was pretty embarrassing stuff.

And now you really will think I’m the silliest person ever, but I have to admit it – I never asked if there were trapped emotions involved. Not once. Why? Because snakes are scary nearly everyone thinks so! I just thought maybe I was a little over reactive, but nothing too crazy… right? Then one day, I was working with a client who had a snake phobia and I found it very, very uncomfortable. As I was working the client’s snake phobia I suddenly had that memory of when I was 4 years old flashing in front of my eyes. I’d really forgotten about that – hadn’t thought about it in years!

But to my surprise as well as my clients, I had identified his trapped emotion of disgust around snakes from age 4. Immediately the squeaking, dying mouse incident flew into my conscious memory again and it kind of made sense, it was pretty disgusting for the little mouse, and I certainly could have felt that way. But I was expecting fear! How does disgust create a phobia…?

Here’s my take on it, in this case, snakes + disgust  = PAIN. My body did not like getting that trapped emotion of disgust. That trapped emotion became a source of pain, as far as my subconscious was concerned, and the snake was to blame! Therefore, all snakes became a potential source of disgust, and therefore, pain. We have a natural tendency to run the away from sources of pain! Fear is created as a mechanism to keep us away from pain and it works better than any emotion to get you out of harm’s way – it’s the “fight or flight” response, and it has worked with great effect for centuries.  So, if we take out the emotional charge, (the flight) of the trapped emotion that is causing the “pain” alert, the whole equation dissolves and the phobia no longer exists. In my case, having the trapped emotion of disgust released has allowed me to have a natural reaction to snakes. I’m not saying I LOVE snakes now, but I just feel mildly uncomfortable around them – which is natural I think.

So if you have a phobia, stop just living with it like I did!! Get working on releasing your trapped emotions, then all those “phobias” that have held you back from enjoying life will be gone and life will be fun not scary!

Send us an email if you like more information or to make an appointment. We can also EASILY work on Skype with these types of issues!